


a dreamt earth for your mind, love

by deathlytireddan



Series: dreams, dreams, dreams [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2018, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, while dan is working on BIG
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 00:42:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21290885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathlytireddan/pseuds/deathlytireddan
Summary: The earth is wet and alive under Dan’s hands. Damp, humid dirt clings to his skin. A drop of water slides from a pillowy fern onto his palm. He watches it slide down his hand and fall onto a clump of moss.AKA Dan is stressed, Phil dreams him a forest, they talk.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: dreams, dreams, dreams [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1520039
Comments: 6
Kudos: 57





	a dreamt earth for your mind, love

**Author's Note:**

> This might be my favorite thing I’ve ever written
> 
> You don’t have to read the first part to understand this. Phil can bring Dan into his dreams/go into Dan’s, etc etc (but you should go read it and tell me if you like it please)

The earth is wet and alive under Dan’s hands. Damp, humid dirt clings to his skin. A drop of water slides from a pillowy fern onto his palm. He watches it slide down his hand and fall onto a clump of moss.

The forest around him is foggy, the smoky edges of it curling around trees and obscuring most of the forest from view. 

Dan inhales, exhales. 

He has a little circle of fresh, clear protective air around him, sheltering. 

And, oh -

It’s unbelievable green. The full trees, branches extending across the deep blue sky. The delicate, pillowy ferns, and carpets of moss. The little unidentifiable plants growing between, with tiny multicolored flowers. Everything is the dark shade of vibrant health. The dirt and bark and plant stems are dark black - brown, contrasting with the green.

He blinks and looks and breaths in his fill of the air, then brushes the dirt off his fingers, looking around. He’s sat on the biggest clump of moss he can see. 

Dan hasn’t seen Phil yet. That’s unusual. 

This wasn’t planned, but it also wasn’t not planned. When they were drifting off, Dan’s head clouded over and busy with worry, Phil had given him a look, asked _can I surprise you?_ and Dan had shrugged, mumbled some response, half asleep, that he can’t remember now.

Apparently he’d agreed. 

Dan stands, lightly touching the bark of the nearest tree. 

Dan wonders why Phil chose a forest, of all places, after all the Slenderman they’ve played. It isn’t creepy, though, even though he’s alone. It makes him think of Phil, but he doesn’t know if that’s only because he knows Phil created it. 

For him. 

Dan takes another breath, in and out, counting the seconds in his head. It smells earthy and rich. Alive and growing. How does Phil do it? 

“I’ve been working on this for a while.” 

Dan manages not to jump. He turns around, finding Phil inches away. “God, warn me!” 

Phil doesn’t look very apologetic. “Sorry, sorry. I forgot you couldn’t see me.”

Dan leans into him subconsciously, glad to see him. Phil’s dream without Phil is like Dan without _him_. “Why?” He asks.

“Why what?” Phil leans into him, too. 

Dan tries not to roll his eyes. “Why have you been making this for me?” Then adds. “Why _trees_?”

Phil snorts. “I like it!” He pouts. 

Dan knows he’s only faking it and waits silently, eyebrows raised. 

“Because you need to get out of your head and see the real world for a bit! Touch it, feel it, whatever. You’re always going on about that but you almost never actually do it. So,” Phil gestures around. “Yeah.” 

Dan tries not to be offended. He knows Phil’s right, that he can be a little hypocrital with himself. A lot, really. “So you made me a...dream forest.”

Phil refuses to argue with him. “Yes, so you sleep too. You haven’t been doing much of that either.” Now Phil looks worriedly. He’s looking at Dan so intently, bottom lip pulled into his mouth. Dan realizes he’s waiting to see Dan’s reaction. Nervous. 

“I like it,” he says finally. 

Phil’s face light up. Dan can’t help smiling at that smile, can’t help properly pushing into his side after that and holding onto his middle. 

They lean on a tree, watching the fog drift, shifting the plants in and out of focus. 

“It’s pretty.”

Phil nods. “Yeah. It’s not - it’s not perfect. I’d have waited a bit longer, but I reckon you need it now.”

A lump forms in his throat. “It’s beautiful. I love it. And you. You’re right. I - I needed this a lot.”

Dan feels himself move in bed, just for a second. The sensation of warm blankets and Phil behind him, mumbling something, and then he’s back in the dream. 

“Oops.” Phil pokes at his arm. “Stop moving. Get back to sleep. Oh, love you too. Duh.”

“You forgot to say it back,” Dan whines. 

“Did not.”

“No, no, we aren’t playing that game! Uh uh.” Dan moves to sit against the tree, Phil joining him. 

The wind shifts, ruffling their hair and sending a few stray leaves driffing. Dan catches one, pulling it into pieces. He can feel Phil’s eyes on him, gentle, waiting.

He looks at his fingers, the dirt that’s got stuck under his nails. “Are you that worried about me?” 

“No,” Phil says immediately, like he’s been waiting for Dan to ask. “I know you’ll figure everything out.” 

Dan thinks of the scripts and the bullet points sitting on his laptop in their own folder, the oldest version at the very bottom of the list already months old. The newest, the one he’d finished just today, is the longest and the most complete feeling. Then there’s the notes on music and the multicolored lights being shipped. 

The talking to his family. 

Phil kisses his cheek, pokes at the side of his head. “Stop trapping my boyfriend in there.”

Dan sighs, leaning his head on Phil’s shoulder, takes Phil’s hand into both of his and examines his fingernails. Also dirty. Dan wonders what Phil intended it to mean. 

“I didn’t tell you yet. But. I think I finished the script. The bullet points. There’s some of both.” 

Phil’s shoulder tenses, then relaxes under Dan’s cheek. He feels Phil’s pulse jump where their wrists are pressed together. It’s hard, even now, to imagine so much of it out there. He doesn’t hold the kneejerk _no_ against Phil. 

They’re unlearning how they lived and relearning it again. It takes some getting used to, even when it was started years ago now. Maybe it never really stops.

“That’s amazing, Dan. I can’t wait to read it. I’m really proud of you, you know.” 

Dan bites his lip. He doesn’t want to talk about that document, seeming to weigh down his laptop with it. When he’d typed the last word he’d saved and exited, closed the lid, left the laptop and the office for the rest of the day. There’s so much in there, so much - weight. 

”What about you?” Dan isn’t ready to talk about that document, not yet. 

“Hmm?” Phil doesn’t push it, just moves to hold Dan’s hand properly and squeezes.

“Your video.” Dan squeezes back.

“Oh.” Phil looks up at the sky, frowns. It shifts into a paler blue, then back to the darker original. “I don’t know. Does it - I feel like I want to see yours first, before I film anything.”

“I’m not holding you back from anything, am I?” He can’t help saying it, even after so many years, so many conversations. 

Phil rolls his eyes, gives Dan _the look._ Frustrated and tired and fond and _you know what I’m thinking, you complete idiot._

_ _“Ugh, I know, I know. Stooop.” He can’t help laughing, a little. _ _

_ _Phil relents. “You can’t hold me back because we’re together, okay. I’m not gonna tell you again, mister.”_ _

_ _Dan makes a face._ _

_ _Phil kisses his forehead. _ _

_ _“What’s with all the kissing that’s not, like, on my mouth?” _ _

_ _Phil snorts. “I can kiss you whenever I like.” _ _

_ _Dan isn’t going to argue with that one. He snuggles down into Phil’s side. _ _

_ _Things are going to change, more than they’ve already changed. Dan thinks he’s made peace with it until he _thinks_ about it, and realizes he hasn’t actually. But everything is a road, and Dan is just starting down his. _ _

__

__

_ _ _“You’ve made me a sap,” Dan says, from somewhere under Phil’s arm. He’s slid farther and farther down without realizing it. _ _ _

_ _ _“That is sh - ocking,” Phil says flatly, around a yawn._ _ _

_ _ _“Don’t make fun of me. I’m a sensitive boy.”_ _ _

_ _ _Phil pulls him back up so they’re eye level. They can go through so many 180s in a single minute. It used to stress Dan out, or embarrass him, or worry him. Now he’s just amused and pleased by how in tune with each other are. He doesn’t blink at Phil’s intense gaze, looking right back._ _ _

_ _ _“Yeah, I know. That’s one of my favorite things about you.”_ _ _

_ _ _“What? That I’m sensitive or a boy?”_ _ _

_ _ _“Yes.”_ _ _

_ _ _Dan scoffs. “You’re very annoying.” _ _ _

_ _ _He kisses Phil, though, for a good long while, stretched out under the tree in Phil’s dream world._ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this :)
> 
> [reblog on tumblr here](https://mylionbabe.tumblr.com/post/188780065530/a-dreamt-earth-for-your-mind-love-part-2-of-the)


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